Body issues be damned!
So the other day while teaching my Glow Beatz class, I did something I never thought I would do in a million years. And that was to wear leggings and just a cropped top over my sports bra at my current weight to teach a class (see picture for proof). That meant showing off a tonne of stomach and back skin and in my case a bit of fat. I'm not obese but I'm still classed as being overweight at the moment. I eat when I'm stressed and when I'm having a low day or my anxiety is high. I also just really love food and I'll never give that up just to fit into society's mold of what a woman should look like. Sod that! But unfortunately when I'm stressed, like most other women, I reach for the unhealthy food which for me is usually chocolate that is full of sugar. That doesn't help my weight loss journey because you cannot out-exercise a bad diet no matter what anyone tells you. I teach 7 classes a week plus I walk every day and swim and PT. So it's not like I'm not getting my exercise in. I've always been really self-conscious about how I look, especially when teaching fitness because in my line of work clothing tends to be of the Lycra variety and as I detest wearing black, I've always worn crazy colours. Problem with crazy colours is they show up more of your rolls, lumps, bumps, etc which in turn makes me more self-conscious. So if you had told me even a few weeks ago I'd done that I would have laughed at you but it happened and I'm glad I did it as it's really changed the way I feel about myself and how I thought others viewed me. I've always been what this industry calls a "plus size" instructor. Which in today's world means someone who teaches fitness who isn't slim and toned or who is over a certain weight. I fall into that category and I've allowed the media, society and other people's opinions to allow me to feel bad about that and dictate how I feel. A few months back, a friend and fellow fitness professional who is of a similar weight and build to me, taught a class in just her sports bra to raise money for charity and I was so impressed and so inspired by her at the time but I couldn't dream of ever doing it myself because what would people think. I was imagining a full on stampede of people with pitchforks and torches bearing down on me complaining about how I look. But with the weather being what it's been of late (i.e. super hot) I thought of my friend and figured you know what if she can do it then what is stopping me and I realised it was my own thoughts and how other people have made me think. So I decided to screw their opinions and screw what is the norm for a fitness instructor these days and I threw caution to the wind and whipped off my top and taught a class and you know what, the world didn't end. Nobody died and to be honest nobody gave a damn and it felt AMAZING to teach a class and feel cool and not hot and uncomfortable. In fact all I got was compliments from my lovely class members which just bolstered my confidence even more. And when the hottest day of the year hit the next day and it was 38 degrees I did it again and I still felt great. And it's changed the way completely how I feel about how I look. Yes for health reasons I know I need to lose weight and if I'm honest for my own aesthetic reasons I still want to lose weight but I'm never allowing what other people think of me to dictate how I feel or how l look ever again. I know it's not an easy thing to do but once you realise you can feel that way, it's a huge weight lifted. I hope with this post I can inspire you the way my friend inspired me.